Do You Long to Live Authentically as a Spiritual Highly Sensitive Person? Read This
I had no roadmap for how to be a twentysomething who wanted to talk about the purpose of life and spirituality with anyone and everyone who would listen.
It’s not a topic that many folks in that age bracket are eager to talk about.
I had friends who went to church and I was a regular churchgoer growing up, but I was looking for something else. Something different.
So Tuesday evenings after work, I’d head out to Insight meditation nights at the Senior Center for meditation and a dharma talk. I was always the youngest person there by 40 years.
Then on Friday nights I’d go out with my friends from grad school to hear free live music, drink beer and eat nachos.
Inevitably I’d end up in the corner booth talking about my two favorite subjects, the meaning of life and spirituality.
It was a conversation that never went very far being that I was in a bar. But that didn’t stop me from trying.
It showed me I needed friends who I could be myself around, not leaving parts of myself behind. Not censoring myself.
I yearned for a community of like-minded people who were interested in the same topics.
Friends who also had Rumi passages framed on their walls, and who loved the same Mary Oliver poems.
“My work is loving the world.”
I wanted it so much that I responded to an ad in the local newspaper. Someone was starting a spirituality book group, and they were looking for members.
Through this ad, I met a few women and every few weeks we gathered to talk about books like Gary Zukav’s, Seat of the Soul, and Ken Wilber’s, A Brief History of Everything.
I wasn’t satisfied with a life that was just about “bring a bottle of wine and a dish to share”. I needed deep conversation about things that mattered.
Turns out, this is a common desire for highly sensitive people. The yearning to show up as your full self, sharing your big heart and thoughtful approach to life.
If you’re feeling out of place, take heart
If you are not sure where you fit in right now, first and foremost, I want to give you a big virtual hug. And I want you to know that you are everything that’s good about this world.
Your perceptiveness means you see people and you get people. You see patterns and make connections other people miss. You are insightful and wise.
Now let me help you make sense of why you feel that you’re on the outside looking in.
You feel like you’re more soul and spirit. You'll spend the first half of your life adjusting to living in a physical body. It feels like there's a frequency mismatch between the two.
In your first 40 years of life, you’re experimenting and learning how to embrace the strengths of your sensitivity.
You’re learning to see that your emotion is a doorway to wisdom. And that it’s possible to feel empathy for others while also being an advocate for yourself.
And that you can build staying power by caring for your body, resting up by leaving white space in your calendar, learning to soothe your nervous system and eating nourishing foods.
Take heart if you feel you’re not an exact fit for this world right now. Be infinitely patient and loving with yourself. You are gaining the tools you need for the days ahead.
Once you hit the second half of life, your peers will be ready to think more about the meaning of life and spirituality. It is then that you’ll use all your intuitive wisdom and learned knowledge to become their teachers. ⠀
In the meantime, please do not stop trying to be you.
Soon enough, everything will come together.
Keep looking for the people and a community that will allow you to explore what’s in your heart and mind.
Use social media to connect with heart-centered people. Listen to podcasts to dig into your favorite topics. Go anywhere gentle-hearted people may be. Yoga or meditation classes, spirituality bookstores or poetry readings, and even church, if it resonates.
Enjoy the beauty that comes with being an HSP. Lean into what I call the “HSP feeling”. ⠀⠀
You know the moment where you get so inspired by the beauty of nature, a song, or a piece of poetry that your heart feels like it will burst with joy? Every cell is filled with inspiration and awe. ⠀⠀
In that magic moment, there is no lack and you want for nothing. Embrace and enjoy these moments.
Never underestimate yourself.
You may think you can’t handle challenges. I’ve always assumed I can’t because stressful situations overwhelm my nervous system. But there’s a difference between being challenged and being stressed. ⠀
A challenge means having a big goal. A challenge lets you use skills that are a strength for HSPs. Things like deep thinking and looking for patterns and subtleties in information. Developing your own theories and crafting alternative solutions. Seeing new possibilities.⠀⠀⠀
Look in your heart, see what lights you up, set big goals based on your unique hopes and dreams. And soon enough, everything will fall into place.
I see you. You’re not like other people. And that’s a very good thing.
Soon enough, you will know why you’re here and what you’re meant to do. And you will feel at home everywhere.
