How to Deal with Powerful Emotions as a Highly Sensitive Activist

I’m a very slow runner. 

15 years ago, my sister and I ran a half marathon together, and I adopted a very slow 11-minute mile running pace.

This was the speed I needed to go to run the whole 13.1 miles without dropping out, which was my goal. 

Once the race was done, I just never stopped running that pace.

From time to time, I’ve tried sprinting. But I always got a headache from it. That’s not the natural speed of my body.

Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) need to run at our own pace on the trail and in life. And that includes being an activist. 

As an HSP who is at risk of burning out, there are many ways to be an advocate.

In the wake of the racially motivated murders of  George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery, I’ve been signing petitions, making donations, and following Black voices and leaders on Instagram. I’m listening to 2 audiobooks and I have a list of podcasts queued up. And I’ve also been responding to needs in my local community.

And while I’m taking action, I’m doing it from an unconscious uncentered place. I’m spinning and scattered.  

My self-care practices have fallen by the wayside. 

I’m eating lunch at 3 p.m. and dinner at 8:30 p.m. and going to bed at midnight. And binging on potato chips and dark chocolate to numb my feelings. This isn’t my norm. 

I’m not taking the time to feel the emotions coming up, instead I’m running past them. 

I wake up in the middle of the night with unprocessed sights and emotions running through my mind and body. Not only of the violence endured by Black people, but of new insights about my white privilege. 

Then I realized I’ve got this backwards.

I need to process what I’m learning and take care of what’s going on in my heart and mind. And, as my self-awareness expands, I will notice the injustices going on around me more and be able to speak out and act from a grounded place rather than spinning and trying to do all the things.

Intentional activism and how to be in it for the long haul

Learning and unlearning the socialization around the inequitable distribution of power between whites and Blacks takes self-awareness and self-reflection. 

I want to do the work and not stall out because it feels too hard and overwhelming. 

Here are 5 strategies that are helping me stay on track.

1. Learning the history and sociology behind the oppression of Black people. The more I educate myself, the more it helps me make sense of the anger and the pain pouring out into the streets, on social media and on the internet. I’m able to place these reactions in context and to non-defensively stay open to hear the hurt and anger and see how I can learn from it. Learning is also helping me to identify my white privilege and see racism when it’s happening so I can speak up rather than be complicit with it. 

2. Holding a growth mindset. Dismantling white privilege is deep work and it will take me as long to unlearn it as it took me to learn it. That means I need to take the long view and be in this for the duration. I’m not giving myself permission to be complacent, just the grace to allow myself to be a beginner. And to take a manageable bite rather than gulping down a whole mouthful at once. This also gives me permission to be in learning mode and accept that I’ll make mistakes.  

3. Trying to be perfect is immobilizing. The fear of saying and doing the wrong thing can make an HSP’s heart race and cause us to shut down. I know it’s hard to let go of needing to do this perfectly. But it’s impossible to change your inner makeup around race and power without running into your blind spots and saying and doing some things you regret later. If you mess up, apologize and vow to listen and continue learning. Making a mistake can trigger a shame spiral and rumination that shuts you down. That’s why you need to rely on strategies for handling powerful emotions. 

4. Emotions you resist persist. You’ll need everything you’ve learned about how to cope as you step into new territory and open yourself up to self-assessment around race. This growth is uncomfortable but it means you’re learning something new. Stick with it. Allow the feelings to come, label them, and describe exactly what’s causing them and they will release their hold. Journal to engage your mood-regulating prefrontal cortex, which in turns soothes your amygdala, the fight-or-flight part of your brain. Release emotion with exercise or movement. See a therapist if you need help to make sense of what’s coming up. 

5. Decide how you will contribute. There are so many ways to act. Find the way that’s a fit for you and set your own pace. You don’t have to march the streets if you know that will be too overwhelming. There are many behind-the-scenes roles. If you want to support the protestors, make a financial donation to provide bail assistance to those who can’t afford to fund their own release, or contribute supplies in your area. Write letters and emails, sign petitions. Support Black-owned businesses. When you hear bias, calling those people out may not be your style. So you may be more comfortable with this gentle approach. Slow down the conversation and say, “help me understand what you mean by that” and repeat back to them the exact words they said. 

Where do we go from here?

It’s true there’s a lot of work to be done, but you will not do it all in one day. It takes consistent action over a lifetime. 

As an HSP, you have a big empathetic heart that feels everything deeply. It can drive you to want to make a big impact and can also leave you with a swirling ball of emotion that you have to care for. 

The work will be hard.  

Pace yourself, process the emotions that come up, seek therapy if you become overwhelmed. 

I will be running right alongside you.