How to Use Your Wardrobe to Discover Easy Confidence as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

Brown pants. 

There were Hershey brown trouser pants in my regular wear-to-work rotation. Because I found them at a J.Crew outlet rummage sale for $12 and they fit well and I didn’t have that color already. 

That’s how I chose clothes. To fill a gap in the color wheel. 

How did I feel in my brownie pants? Meh. Brown. 

There’s nothing like getting ready to meet your boyfriend’s ex-wife to show you exactly how much you do not love what’s in your closet. Such was the case in 2015. 

We were meeting at a local winery. I had a 15 pound weight gain and was struggling to figure out how to dress my new body. An impulse shopping spree did nothing to solve my problems. If you don’t know what clothes you feel your best in, having more options doesn’t do anything for you. 

I managed to get dressed in a simple outfit of a white top with a tassel necklace and an army green a-line skirt, finished off with black leather sandals. 

And afterwards I wondered why getting dressed was so hard given my closet full of clothes. 

I actively rejected the idea that being heavier meant I couldn’t feel good in clothes. I wanted a formula for using my wardrobe to channel easy confidence and feel most me.

That’s when I learned about capsule wardrobes at Project 333 and Un-Fancy. 

Courtney Carver with her Project 333 is the OG of capsule wardrobes but I also love Caroline Joy’s blog, Un-Fancy. 

A capsule wardrobe is narrowing your wardrobe down to 33 hardworking and highly loved pieces that coordinate with each other and simplify your life. 

33 pieces includes shoes, accessories, jewelry and outerwear. It doesn’t include your underwear, pajamas, stay at home lounge wear or workout clothing. And you change it up every 3 months to match the change in seasons. 

Here’s why the limited number of pieces is good. 

It forces you to think about why those cropped skinny blue jeans are a “must-have” but those navy stretchy denim skinny cropped pants are not. Turns out, they hit at the wrong spot on your calf and look funny with every pair of shoes except ankle wrap sandals.  

And you have to pinpoint what makes your favorite white shirt the winner. There, it’s the lightweight material that lets it hang comfortably at your midsection so you’re not tugging it away from your belly all day. 

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

When you cut down the number of items in your closet you learn what you feel good in because only the best fit and shapes and colors are worthy of claiming a spot. 

What surprised me was how having less clothing actually makes you feel like you have more. If you’ve got a ton of 5s in your closet and only a few 9s and 10s, the bad stuff brings down your whole wardrobe average. On a typical bleary-eyed morning, I couldn’t see past the duds to grab for the diamonds. 

As an HSP, I can think far too hard about what feels right to put on my body that day. I need to be comfortable and for my outfit to match my mood. 

Imagine how much easier it is to get dressed walking into a closet that’s all 9s and 10s. You zero in immediately on the pieces that work together, for your body, and that can easily be mixed and matched and go with the shoes you own right now. 

How to build a capsule wardrobe

Here’s how I did it. 

I’m highly visual and can picture my clothes in my mind. I made a spreadsheet of my favorite must-have items, creating a column for tops, bottoms, completer pieces (sweaters/jean jacket/blazer), and shoes.

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

I considered color, fit and versatility using the rule of 3. Every piece needs to go with 3 things. Each shirt goes with 3 bottoms. Each completer piece goes with at least 3 shirts and bottoms. Skinny pants need to go with looser tops. 

This is when you decide how many of each item you need based on your lifestyle. Do you need to include skirts and dresses? Does work require you dress more professionally than you’d dress on the weekend? How can you find a connection between the two?

Making a spreadsheet meant I dialed into my “instant yes’s”, the pieces that made my heart leap in my chest before I even walked into my overwhelming closet. 

Once I had my list, I went in and pulled out those pieces. Everything that didn’t come to mind was left behind for a reason. I moved what was left to another closet. If I went to pull something out and then continued to use it, that was a sign I needed it. If it was never touched, it could get donated. Like that red dress that’s a little too short. And the other red dress that I have no reason to wear and always reject at Christmas. Why did I even have two red dresses? 

The last step for figuring out if you have the right items in your capsule wardrobe is to wear it out in real life. When you catch a glimpse of yourself during the day, do you feel good in what you’re wearing? Does it feel like you? Do your pieces really fit your life? Stay curious and flexible. Leave room to learn and ditch or add items. 

My favorite way to dress

I’m in my happy place when I’m in skinny jeans or pants that crop at the ankle with flats and a blouse or top and piece of statement jewelry (either earrings or a necklace).

This is the outfit I always imagine wearing on a book tour (a girl can dream, right?). Ridiculously comfy, but slightly elevated because of the top. 

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

You can’t beat the sharp simplicity of blue jeans and a crisp white blouse that can be dressed up or down.

Pairing it with an animal print flat makes it more interesting.

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

I love the casual naturalness of chambray and the shape of this top so much that I have it in two colors.

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

It’s loose enough with the skinny jeans that I can wear it to work and it’s longer in the back than the front so it covers my tushie and I don’t feel overexposed. See the buttons on the shoulder?

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

Believe it or not, I can walk to work in these tassel mules.

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

Here’s the blouse again with chambray stripes. I pair it with grey skinny jeans, cognac colored flats and purse.

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

Stripes. You guys, please give me all the stripes all the time.

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), you know that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. Here's how to curate a wardrobe that you feel good in so you easily feel like yourself every day.

My workplace is casual so I can easily dress this way in fall and spring. 

My wardrobe is built around workhorse neutrals, black, grey, white/cream, stripes and navy. They all mix easily with each other.

For different seasons, I pull in an additional color, spring is fuschia or pink. winter is reds. In the winter, I sub out flats for booties or brown boots. Summer gets a complete revision since I wear skirts and dresses to survive walking to work on hot days.

Since curating my smaller wardrobe in 2015 and now that I know what I love, I’m looser with the number of items I buy. But I still follow the rule of 3 and buy pieces that mix and match easily with everything else in my closet. And if I don’t absolutely love it, it’s gone.

The connection between confidence and clothing

If you’re an HSP, I don’t have to convince you that how you dress makes a difference in how you feel. 

You know that stiff and scratchy fabrics or a jacket that pulls too tight around your shoulders will make you uncomfortable all day. 

Likewise, showing up in pants to a cocktail party where everyone is in dresses will make you self-conscious.

When you cut down the number of items in your closet you learn what you feel good in. 

So you easily feel like yourself every day, in the best possible way. 

YOUR TURN—Leave a comment

Do you have a small wardrobe? How has it changed how you feel? Leave a comment, you may inspire someone else.

Resources, Blog, Self-acceptanceMarya Choby, MSW, CHCCapsule wardrobe, Curated wardrobe, Project 333, Un-Fancy, Self-acceptance, Small wardrobe