3 Ways To Snap Out Of A Stress Spiral At Work
Staying calm in very stressful situations was required early in my career as a social worker. But today, everything I once knew has gone out the window.
The data I just gave to my colleagues has an error in it. I'm staring at my screen, hoping my eyes are playing tricks on me. The blood is rushing through my ears and my heart is pounding.
Now I can see the duplicate data in my spreadsheet. I frantically switch between database screens, rerunning query after query to make sense of what I'm looking at.
I'm kicking myself for not catching the issue before I hit send on the email to my colleagues.
I'm filled with a sense of dread and shame at the idea of having to publicly admit my mistake.
Nervous systems are getting a jolt at work. And it’s not just mine as I learn the hard way about how to use a new database. According to a 2018 study, 33% of Gen Xers and 44% of millennials and Gen Zers report that work regularly causes stress. Forty-five percent of workers ages 35 to 54 are regularly losing sleep from work stress, says a second study.
We don’t need research to tell us we’re stressed. All we have to do is look around.
Meanwhile, my brain has gone to mush at the exact moment that I need to be sharp to figure out the scope of my data problem and fix it.
Having stress steal my ability to think doesn't help when I'm having a problem at the office.
My body is reacting the way it would if I stumbled into a hive of angry bees. Stress hormones are making my heart pound like mad and getting my muscles ready to bolt. If you’re about to be swarmed by angry flying stingers, no one needs to stop and ponder the finer points of an exit strategy. You just need to react and get the hell out.
The complex problem solving and planning that’s coordinated by the pre-frontal cortex is essential right now. But since it's overpowered by stress hormones, I'm flying blind. And my diminished working memory makes it impossible to hold two thoughts in my brain at once (Source).
Even mild to moderate uncontrollable stress gets in the way of deep focus according to Amy Arnsten. It’s no wonder my database error feels like a hammer to my nervous system.
And there’s good and bad about what I do next. I can see that my body is being kidnapped by stress. I know that it’s happening. So that’s good, since awareness is the first step. And there’s a little part of me that says I need to pause and re-calibrate. I could stop and choose to use a breathing technique to get some distance and get my brain back on track.
But I don’t listen to that small wise voice. A powerful physiological drive makes me run full speed ahead to try to fix the problem immediately, even if my brain isn’t clear enough to do it.
I find myself wondering how ER doctors keep their wits in tact as a patient rolls through the double doors. It’s clear to me in this moment that I don’t have the calm gene that they must have.
An Everyday Health survey conducted in 2018 shows that 41% of Gen X and 43% of millennials and 48% of Gen Z are invigorated by stress rather than paralyzed by it.
I'm not one of those people.
On this day, after a few hours of scrambling with my data, charging ahead in a frenzy eventually leads me to a solution and I get a mea culpa email out to my co-workers. But I know there has to be a less frantic and more efficient way to deal with stress in the future.
Back in the day, when I had to keep my wits about me with agitated or suicidal clients, I had a go-to de-escalation plan that kicked in when my pre-frontal cortex couldn’t do any original planning to find a fix for a situation.
That’s exactly what I need right now. I need a plan.
Pause. Paper. Plan.
So here’s what I come up with. My 3P plan. Pause. Paper. Plan. Stopping and breathing calms my heart rate. Grabbing paper and making a written plan coaxes my pre-frontal cortex to get back in the game again, giving me some distance from the situation. And putting the plan down on paper eases the burden on my working memory. This works if I’m spiraling and overwhelmed from too much to do or if I have a surprise problem to fix.
So here’s the irony of my database debacle. While it was undoubtedly the biggest source of stress in my week given my public mess-up, it also ended up being the biggest source of growth and learning.
I felt invigorated by being challenged and had a sense of accomplishment that I solved this problem and learned something new.
This mirrors what a 2009 study in The Journal of Happiness showed. Doing anything new can be stressful in the moment, but the pride of meeting the challenge gives a boost in happiness.
While we are tempted to steer away from new tasks to avoid panicked moments that come with trial and error, getting through them can provide great satisfaction.
Next time this happens, instead of thrashing around in a panic, I’ll use my 3P plan to get my mind thinking clearly again. And, in terms of my public mess-up, I'll try to remember that my error is probably a bigger deal to me than to my colleagues. I could take a note from them about how to calmly roll with the punches. To them, my error was no big deal.
YOUR TURN
Are you invigorated by stress or paralyzed by it?